Monday 28 December 2015

Christmas in the Caribbean


When the plane took off from Managua, I was happy to have Kate’s hand to clutch. Bouncing, jittering, skittering: I imagined the pilot halfway through a bottle of Flor de Cana – famous Nicaraguan rum. Out the window it was earthskyearthsky, as the plane lolled from side to side, engines sputtering feebly.

“Kate, if we die in a horrible plane crash, I want you to know it’s been a blast.” Kate wears a fake perma-grin when she’s nervous; her voice emerges strained through her teeth, “Matt! Don’t say that sort of thing – it’s bad luck!”

But when we landed on Big Corn Island, our luck had obviously turned for the better. Lobster, shrimp, and fish swam in butter and garlic on our plates. Palm trees bobbed their lazy heads towards the beaches: white sand festooned with crabs and conchs. In fact, the crabs were so plentiful they had crab-crossing signs, like you might see for moose back in Canada. And a good thing too – Kate nearly stepped on one (crab, not moose) as we returned from dinner our first night in the dark. All we saw at first was a shadow-stone the size of my head. Under the flashlight, the shadow coalesced into a surly, side-stepping crab, mid-scuttle. One eye swiveled around on its stalk to glare.






When not admiring the island, getting tossed like a boy in ten-foot waves, or eating the creatures of the ocean, there was the discipline of the hammock. Dangling nets of the Caribbean, hammocks swaddle the infants and comfort the elderly: from cradle to rocker. Sure your hands may twitch for your cell phone – gotta see what emails I’ve received in the last four minutes – but that’s just civilization tugging at your flesh with its hooks. Pull out a book, Mon, or better yet just pull your cap over your eyes, like the mellow fellow below. And for star watching with your ladylove, the hammock has no equal.

After two days of lounging and sleeping beneath a mosquito net, we bought tickets to Little Corn. Smaller, more touristy, less developed: Little Corn juts from the ocean five miles to the north of Big Corn and wears a skirt of white beach and volcanic stone. The huckster at the jetty sold us our tickets but I declined his ganja. He was covered in knife scars and corded muscles. The boat was about twenty feet long with ten benches; it could safely seat forty people so we crammed forty-five onboard. Then, sweltering and huddled, still clanging against the jetty, the sailors didn’t untie the lines until the huckster berated, cajoled and pleaded for a tip. Ten awkward minutes. “I work so hard, Mon! You got no idea how hard I work. All for a tip. You there! You! You like your seat? Maybe give me little tip? No? What about you over there?” and so forth. Even after we slipped our lines you could still hear him calling, “Tiiiip! There’s still time!”

Sitting in the back of the boat was easier on my stomach, but harder for the waves. Twelve feet and higher, and driving right into them, each wave hit the bow and turned into a giant salty fist. Only a few seconds between punches, eyes stinging, water getting forced down the lungs, I cowered in my hat next to Kate. Our fingers found each other on the bench under the life jacket. Within two splashes every stitch was soaked, and Kate’s purse was a runny soup. As the fear of death gibbered in my head, my thoughts flitted to Guantanamo Bay’s waterboarding victims, half-drowned by an icy sponge. Most of all my heart went out to the Syrian refugees, who must have huddled on similarly shady voyages on their journeys to new homes.

“Kate, if we drown on this boat ride, I want you to know it’s been a splash.” She yells back, “Don’t you ever stop?”

But of course we lived, otherwise there would be no story. In retrospect linking the miserable boat ride to the hell of Guantanamo was hyperbolic, and perhaps crossing a line or two. Avoiding exaggeration and respecting “lines” are concerns that the higher brain usually takes care of, and when you think you’re drowning, that part shuts down. We spend our day-to-day lives simmering in polish and tact but die like shrieking monkeys.

On the jetty we took awkward steps on new legs. Found a bar a hundred feet away to drink recovery Tona while my stomach settled. Then we indulged in all the island’s little pleasures: swimming, live music, fried fish for breakfast. We met countless Dutch people; I think they clamour to the Corn Islands as part of a coming-of-age ritual. We even hired a local guide, Tindal, to take us snorkeling among the shimmering reefs.

Tindal would not be satisfied until we swam with a shark. We found one, mottled and napping, in a bed of coral while we hovered overhead on our flippers. “You gotta touch da shark, Mon.” “No thanks.” A school of fish – communicating via hive mind – scintillates turquoise. Holding a starfish you can feel hundreds of tiny knobs and ridges in its flesh.


But my favourite was walking with Kate along the beaches. Here on Little Corn the palm trees drowse even lower, and the grass at their feet is spotted with mysterious green tufts. I can still see Kate in her sundress on Christmas day, carrying her shoes in one hand, leaping from boulder to boulder with the waves crashing around her. In this mysterious Loompaland, Dr. Seuss’ dreamland, we are sunburnt gophers hiding in hammocks.

 Taking her hand, I say, “Kate if we die tonight, I want you to know it’s been a fairy tale.”



Wednesday 16 December 2015

Feliz Navidad

Cuso Nicaragua's Coke-bottle-adorned Christmas tree.
It’s 35 degrees Celsius outside, and strangely enough, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.  My coworkers and I decorated a tree with repurposed plastic Coke bottles for a festive flair, and our grocery store plays “Feliz Navidad” on repeat.  The first lady of Nicaragua ordered even more giant electric trees erected for the season, leading to intense media backlash and producing a magical effect akin to a Seussian dreamland.  If you walk down the main drag of Managua you’ll find a string of giant altars to the Virgin Mary.  Making no pretensions about separation of church and state, government departments compete to produce the most over-the-top display of affection towards Jesus’ mother.  This ranges from depictions of Mary nestled inside a crest of flowers, to Ninja Mary fighting a multi-headed dragon. It’s hard to imagine the Department of Finance in Canada putting on such a display.

Ninja Mary
This time of year causes me to reflect on why I became a volunteer in Nicaragua in the first place.  I want to make a difference in peoples’ lives.  How have I done that?  Over the past three months, I helped to develop and implement a monitoring and evaluation system that will allow Cuso International to track the impact of the poverty-reduction programs it supports.  Cuso International’s model is to send skilled volunteers to work in local NGOs as consultants who build capacity for sustained impact. I’ve had an opportunity to witness these impacts first-hand.

Take Ronald Anzoleaga, for example, a Bolivian economist who, since arriving in Nicaragua in May, has trained 161 female coffee producers in entrepreneurship skills: how to create a business plan, how to negotiate, and how to market a product to make it stand out from the competition.  By empowering women, he’s helping them develop a more secure economic footing.
Ronald with entrepreneurs in Esteli.
What about Andre, a soil scientist from Edmonton, who on his previous placement in Nicaragua worked with local scientists at an agricultural university to set-up a soil lab?  Back for a second placement, he’s conducting soil experiments to find ways to help farmers mitigate the effects of climate change in the dry corridor of Nicaragua.

And let’s not forget Jennifer, an eco-tourism specialist from Winnipeg.  Jennifer is working with members of a poor community in northern rural Nicaragua to develop an eco-tourism plan.  She is trying to help locals leverage stunning hiking trails, rivers and mountains by enhancing community organization and online promotion.  In doing so, she is creating new opportunities for an agricultural village plagued by three years of drought.

Jennifer speaking to community members in a Palmira town meeting.
By monitoring impacts in a way that is quantifiable and systematic, I’m helping to ensure that Cuso’s programs continue to receive funding, so that Ronald, Andre and Jennifer, among others, can keep empowering women and creating opportunities for poor communities. 

To ensure that Cuso volunteers can continue doing this important work, I need your help.  I am currently only $142 short of my fundraising goal of $2,000.  Please consider helping me to reach my target, by going to my fundraising page and clicking on the link to DONATE NOW.  Each dollar you donate is matched nine times by the Canadian government. That means when I attain my $2,000 goal, Cuso International will have $18,000 - enough to send another volunteer for a one-year placement. You will automatically be sent a tax receipt for all donations over $10 (keep in mind that the tax deadline is December 31st). 

Thank you to everyone who has supported me in this work.  From the sweaty, electric tree-lined streets of Managua, Matt and I want to wish you and your families a very happy holiday!

Kate and Matt

Tuesday 15 December 2015

Pummeled by Tiny Fists

I arrive on campus early: a necessity. I’ve done this trip a few times now – the bus stop for intercity travel is here and I’ve had a job interview and when we first encountered the feminist initiative – https://www.facebook.com/ocacnic/?fref=ts – Kate and I met the planners in the shade of a palm tree. The group is a student-run initiative whose organizers, Noelia, Estrella, and Leda, champion the unpopular cause of women’s equality in Managua. Prompted by the International Day of Elimination of Violence Against Women on November 25th, the women’s self-defense class is but one of a number of initiatives they’ve masterminded.

There are no maps of this university online, and none posted. A few signposts dot the occasional corner, but the auditoria I need is not listed. I have the name of the auditorium on a piece of paper. My routine is to approach one of the students and say, perdon, senor/senora, donde es la auditoria and then hold up the piece of paper. The first has never heard of it; the second leads me astray as far as the parking lots. The third tells me to go west, pointing north. The fourth literally walks me to the front door of the auditorium and pushes me up the stairs.

Room locked and chained; I’m fifteen minutes early. A student is sitting on the only bench and has her lunch all over it, so I stand on a little breezeway to cool. In another ten minutes a lady arrives with a bag of martial arts pads; I follow her into the impromptu dojo, and help stack fifty or sixty chairs and line them against the walls. The sensei arrives shortly thereafter, and I try to ask him if he’s teaching the lesson Tu es la professor por la lecion por las mujeres? He stares uncomprehending. Yo soy un voluntario. At which point, he calls for the organizer, Leda, who has a handle on English and can facilitate.

Along with the sensei there are three young men dressed in traditional karate garb: the gi. The housecoat-looking thing with the belt that signifies rank. The sensei is a black belt, mid-forties, maybe, and the rest are student-age, two greens and a yellow. Tall, wiry, fast. While the lads practice kicks and banter, the sensei stands imperious with his arms across his chest. We’re well past the start time but this is normal.


Eventually several women arrive, probably early twenties. There are four in total. Looking at the sensei and karate kids, I worry I won’t get a chance to help. But when the girls and ninjas start circling their arms and necks Leda nudges me – go warm up with them. We jog around the room a few times, hopping over small pylons the sensei set up. Then he lines up the training dummies: the two green belts, one yellow belt, and me in my gym clothes. The four girls cycle through, pausing at each of us to punch us twice in our bellies. http://daleclicnica.com/mujeres-aprenden-defenderse/

There is a shyness about doing violence to people which I think most non-psychopaths possess. Lots of people work through the shyness or have the shyness worked through for them. But not these four. They were giggles at the start, unwilling to hurt us. The sensei had to encourage them, muy fuerte! One of the girls looked frail but punched like a brick. And this actually goes on for some time, and I think it’s smart. Get the students used to the idea of actually hitting someone. And at the same time figure out that if you ever need to hurt a man it’s best if you try really hard.

From here, each dummy is paired with a girl. I don’t think my new friend is particularly happy about this as she is petite; I’m about four times her size. The sensei gets one of the green belts to grab his arm, and practices wrenching his hand free. Then the men/women pairs practice the newly-learned move over and over. We follow this pattern for dodging punches, chokes, bear hugs, and disarming an assailant with a gun.

I worry I am discouraging my partner. It is extremely difficult for her to wrench her hand from mine. I am not easy to trip. Pushing is ineffectual. Many many times in that two hour lesson the sensei came by as we were practicing and got me to grab his neck, or squeeze him in a bear hug, or throw a punch at him, so that he could nimbly dodge, twist my hand behind my back, kick the legs out from under me, wrench the gun from my hand. Yes, he is strong, but you can beat him. Make sure to strike fast and don’t let him take a swing at you. After you strike, run. Ojos y genitales. Eyes and genitals.

But she is still discouraged. During the choking drill I place my hands around her neck and her eyes widen. She yells out, in English, “I will die!” and the sensei swaps her with another lady, who elbows me very enthusiastically during the bearhug escapes, and trips me onto my back a few times, laughing at me.

At the end of the lesson the sensei calls us all to the centre of the dojo and speaks. He says these strategies are for desperate situations only, that it is best to avoid confrontation and run. He tells the women the importance of fast strikes, of hitting vulnerable areas, of surprise. He says even a backpack or laptop can be used to deflect a knife. No man is invincible. Ojos y genitales.

After, Leda asks me, did you understand when the sensei thanked you? He said it was important to know that men can be very strong and to know what to do. I said that was why I was there; there are many men who are much stronger than me and some are predators: A horrifying thought.

The next day, at an anti-harassment photography exhibit where Kate and I were volunteering, I showed her my war wounds. A few scrapes on my hands from having the wooden gun torn out of my hand and my fingers bent back. Kate puts a band-aid on my finger and asks me to show her the moves I learned. As the gallery is closing we spar with the photos watching. When we practice the bearhug she squirms a bit to the side and swings her fist down like a club and strikes me square in the beanbag. Coughing, gagging, hunched-over, limping. Cramps running through lower intestine. Trying to walk it off despite the swelling. “You’re a natural, Kate!” I croak. 

Thursday 10 December 2015

Cornucopia

When I first got to Nicaragua, I couldn’t tell a quesillo from a tortilla from a guirila. Each is a variation on a corn-based flatbread, but in the interest of Nicaraguan-Canadian diplomatic relations it's best not to mix them up. I was introduced to the quesillo on a bus trip from Managua to Leon, when five of us were squeezed into a two-person seat, as per custom.  The woman to my right leaned into me to breastfeed her screaming child, while the guy on my left sang drunken ballads in between glugs from his bottle of Tona.  I was hot.  I was irritated.  I was hungry.  In my moment of darkness an angel called out, “Quesillos, quesillos!”  Gesturing to the woman balancing a bowl on her head and pushing through the crowded aisle, I prayed she was not an apparition. She handed me the plastic-wrapped treat in exchange for a few cordobas, and I savoured the cheese-filled corn tortilla, topped with pickled onions and cream.  The cries of the baby hushed, and the drunkard’s snores grew distant.  Such is the power of the quesillo.     
Eating well in Nicaragua means embracing corn.  You can’t escape it, and you wouldn’t want to.  A lot of Nicaragua’s best food comes from this edible grain, dating back to pre-Spanish conquest, when the crop spread from Mexico, and played a key role in the spiritual and nutritional fulfillment of indigenous groups.  The corn deity of the Aztec people, Cinteotl, is often depicted with yellowed skin and ears of corn jutting from his headdress.  He would no doubt be honored by the creative uses his worshipers found for this versatile grain.

Compared to the quesillo, the tortilla is less likely to induce zen, but it’s a staple in Nicaragua.  The standard vehicle for moving beans, rice, meat and vegetables from plate to mouth, you’ll find it served with most meals.  Matt studied tortilla-making tips from my Nica colleagues, and stayed up all night meticulously rolling cornmeal dough into small balls, before flattening them between circular pieces of plastic wrap and lightly frying them, one after another.  In the photo below, you can see the product of his labour of love.



For me, the king of the corn-based flatbread is the guirila. (Please don’t ask me to pronounce it – there’s a tongue-rolling trick involved that I have yet to master.)  Travelling for work in the northern mountains of Nicaragua, my colleague pulled up to a small restaurant, unassuming but for the sign claiming the best guirilas in the whole country.  The sweet yellow pancake-like treat appeared at my table, together with sour cream, fresh cheese and a cup of locally-made coffee.  I’ve always been a fan of cornbread, and the guirila is a moist cornbread flattened into a light patty.  Dunked in cream, and washed down with strong coffee, the guirila is comforting like apple pie. I became a fast fan, devouring two more. 

For a real stick-to-your-bones snack, try a tamal or a nacatamal.  You’ll find these little packages wrapped in banana leaves all over Nicaragua – in markets or on the side of the street.  Driving us home one night, friends pulled up to a woman hovering over a hot grill by the curb.  She passed a bundle through the car window and, playing hot potato, we untied the strings holding the leaves in place to find a dense ball of corn paste.  It was sweet and buttery and had I been at all cold (which never happens here), it would have warmed me right up.  Nicas recommend the nacatamal for Sunday lunch, so that you are free to indulge the impulse to sleep afterwards.    

But don’t be fooled into thinking that corn is only for eating.  The pinolillo is a popular cold drink made by adding water or milk to toasted and ground corn kernels and cacao powder.  The result is a thick, chocolatey drink.  It’s so popular here that “pinolero”, meaning “somebody who drinks pinolillo”, has become a colloquial term for a Nicaraguan.  I'm not sure how many pinolillos I need to drink before becoming a pseudo-pinolero.  Perhaps I ought to make a plea to the corn god.  Though he’s long since been replaced in the hearts of Nicaraguans by other deities, I picture a contented, if forgotten, Cinteotl holding a frothing cup of corn juice in one hand, and blessing this land of corn lovers with the other.

Thank you for supporting my work in Nicaragua with a donation to Cuso International! Here's my fundraising site. 

Tuesday 1 December 2015

On Fighting



When I came home from Afghanistan, I swore my fighting days were over. But if you flew over Managua in a helicopter two days ago, you might have seen a strange, bearded, white guy on the corner of a busy street in Managua, holding a sign that read, “El acoso callejero no enamora” or “street harassment is not love”. Darting among the cars stopped at the traffic lights, myself and the other volunteers pressed the palms of drivers and pedestrians with anti-harassment flyers.

It was a local initiative – started small at the University of Central America; a grassroots movements among students, intellectuals, artists. Kate discovered the group advertising and roped me in, along with our friends Paul and Jody. The day in question, if you’re still hovering above, is a rally centred around the creation of anti-harassment graffiti by a  spray paint artist; I can tell he’s passionate because not only does he paint murals, his whole body is inked, as if he ran out of canvas.

Fighting is never tidy, at least when it matters. In Afghanistan we couldn’t even say if we won or lost, or if it was worth it. And when Jody arrived at the rally, she noticed the entire complement was Kate, myself, two organizers, the sound guy, and Tattoo. “Hell, it’d be better if they had more locals – fewer white people”. While more locals eventually arrived, of course she was right. There’s a certain colonial presumption built into a bunch of white people going to Nicaragua and then rallying to change the culture, especially after North America’s many interventions in the struggling country.

But if not us, who? Many people immersed in the culture are too terrified to speak out on this issue. Half of the hundreds of people we engaged that day were young women and men who smiled at our signs, gave us the thumbs up, and yelled encouragement. The other half were men who glared stonily at me. One older gent with three boys in the back seat saw my “it’s not a compliment” sign, and let out a long, appreciative whistle. Three men in the cab of a transport truck stopped next to me to yell abuse; I responded by dancing. My how my weapons have changed in five years.

My comrades have changed, too. I can still see Paul – the ultimate sign post – standing in the median with his sign upraised as cars whizzed by. I can see Jody pulling the rolling paintbrush from Tattoo’s hands so she could help whitewash the mural. Paul and Jody are warriors of the word, the former a writer, the latter, journalist; I am proud to know them.

In Canada a “Masculine Feminist” isn’t a title that takes you very far, but in Nicaragua the role is key. I was happy to be a deterrent for any violence that might be leveled against the volunteers. My Spanish is graceful as a mudslide but I can still speak truth to men and be listened to because of how I look. This Thursday I’m volunteering at the women’s self-defence class and might become a training dummy. From all angles I have broken my oath to myself to lead a life of peace, and I’m dancing about it.